a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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