She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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