So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
