You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I touched a dick in church today
These tits shall not be calmed
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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