If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
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