I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
