and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MIDGETS
????
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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