his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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