Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
