Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
