smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
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