he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize