I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I booty called her while she was in labor.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
