Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize