So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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