god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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