Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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