How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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