Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Randomize
