matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
