i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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