The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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