Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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