Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize