I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
