try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
