You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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