those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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