come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Randomize
