I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
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Sacagawea was the original milf.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
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I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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