I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
