That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
