There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
