i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
