I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
