it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
