my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
