we have pet lesbian snakes
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
