This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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