Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
