I need help removing her.
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
