I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
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