I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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