a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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