I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
