I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
