I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Found the puke drawer
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Randomize
