i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
