Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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