I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
