he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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