No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
